Too stressed out to think of an adequate title.

I'm not sure if I've sufficiently conveyed just how anal I actually am, but if I haven't, this post should do the trick.

Tomorrow night, The Husband and I have been invited to a friend's house for a casual holiday dinner. It'll be a small gathering; just The Husband and I, his two best friends, their wives and children.

My poor husband is the last man standing without kids. Well, maybe he shoulda thunk twice before marrying someone eleven years younger. Hmph.

But I digress. They're doing it potluck style and we volunteered to bring (what else?) the dessert. I immediately wanted to bake a cake. A cake is a far cry from the normal holiday pies that everyone's been consuming since Thanksgiving and, I thought, a welcome change.

At first I chose to do a chocolate cake with peppermint frosting. See? I'm still keeping with the theme. But then I made a sample cake for The Husband to take to work. I wanted to see what the reactions were. And... they were good.

But the cake? It wasn't very pretty. I don't bake and frost a lot of cakes and I was perturbed by all the little imperfections that come from doing so. It just wasn't... perfect.

So, then I thought cupcakes. I can still use the same flavors, but I can frost cupcakes perfectly and use mini candy canes or other chocolates to decorate and it would be totally cute and festive. Not to mention kid/clean-up friendly.

But would cupcakes be too... I don't know... birthday-ish?

This is when I started obsessing. What if cupcakes are too childish? What if nobody likes peppermint? What if they don't like chocolate!? What if, what if, what if.

Last night I finally cracked. "Can't I just go buy a fucking cake from a bakery and pass it off as my own?!" I asked The Husband.

He replied, "Honey, you can do whatever you want." He then proceeded to rattle off some sports stats and I threw a fit because YOU'RE NOT LISTENING TO ME.

"Yes, I am," he said, still staring at his computer screen. "I heard everything you said."

"But you didn't listen. I AM SURROUNDED BY BAD LISTENERS!"

And I stormed off to my laptop in hopes that the internet would be able to provide the answer to all life's problems.

Now it's Friday and the dinner is tomorrow. I have this vision in my head of showing up with a cake that nobody wants and we'll sit around staring at it as it sits on the table missing two pieces; the one I cut for myself because I'm normal and love chocolate and the giant piece I'll cut for The Husband because WHEN YOU SAID "I DO" IT MEANT YOU'D EAT A HUGE PORTION OF ANYTHING I BAKE JUST TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER.

As I've perused the internet today, I thought of making this chocolate sheet cake, except turning into a round two-layer cake and drizzling the middle and top with chocolate frosting so it kind of cascades down the sides in a pretty little waterfall of chocolate (I'm starting to feel better)... Only, I've never made this cake before and that, for me, usually spells disaster.

Any ideas?

My favorite things: Vitalicious VitaMuffins

Yeah, try saying that five times fast.

One thing I love about blogging is being able to share my favorite things with others. That's also one of the reasons I read so many blogs. You never know when or where you might find a great recipe, an amazing photography tip, etc.

So, with that being said, I share The VitaMuffins.



Oh, sorry. I forgot to mention they come in a box. Because NONE OF MY STORES CARRY THEM.

I heard about this company, Vitalicious, on a message board a couple years ago. Have I ever told you I used to be fat? Yeah, it was a Weight Watchers message board.

Intrigued, I checked out their website and eventually placed an order. Since then, I've placed many an order for their Deep Chocolate VitaTops. They're the perfect snack and played a major part in me getting to my goal weight. How, you ask?



They're only a hundred calories! They're also all natural, preservative free, low in fat, high in fiber, full of vitamins and other nutritious stuff and, hello?? They're chocolate! (I also realize that, at this point, I sound like an infomercial, but I can't help myself. I've lost all control.)

There is one downfall. Since they're not carried in any of my grocery stores, I have to order them online. Okay, no problem. Except, since I have to order them online and they're free of preservatives and therefore need to be kept frozen, the shipping charges to get them to you quickly are a little, well... high. And suddenly, what used to be somewhat reasonable in price, is now... not.

And then Bossy had to go and throw a Poverty Party and, well, I had to come up with a solution.

That's when I realized they also sell VitaMuffin mix. Nonperishable VitaMuffin mix. Yep, I can make these muffins right at home in my very own oven and for nearly half the cost. (And, if you order in the next ten minutes, we'll double your order! Ugh. Someone please punch me in the face.)

Sure, making them yourself is not quite as convenient as receiving each one individually wrapped and ready to eat, but the cost outweighs the convenience in this case. (At least, that's what The Husband tells me.)

No, seriously, they're great. The first time I made these myself, I baked them, as directed, in little paper cups. Well, I'm not sure if I did something wrong (not likely! I am, after all, perfect), but my muffins stuck to the paper and each time I tried to unwrap one, half the muffin would tear away as well. Then I'd be standing over the trash trying to gnaw off as much chocolate as I could before The Husband walked in and gave me that look again. You know, the one that says I SHOULD PROBABLY CALL SOMEONE NOW.



The second time around, I bit the bullet and greased and floured my baking pan. I used a very minuscule amount of Crisco in each cup, trying to avoid adding any unnecessary calories and they turned out much better.

And what's great? You can use any flavor chocolate chip that you'd like. In this batch, I used butterscotch, which normally I'd find slightly too sweet, but in these muffins, which aren't overly sweet at all, they were fantastic. (And if that's not a run-on sentence, I don't know what is.)



I store them in the freezer and let me just say this. They're great on a hot day right out of the freezer or, in the winter (like right now), warmed up in the microwave or even slightly toasted.

Now, if only I could convince Vitalicious to pay me for the endorsement.

Butter and brown sugar. Need I say more?

Do you want to know something? I've never browned butter before. I know! Actually, I'm not sure it's all that common a thing to do. Does everyone just sit around browning butter? If not, they should! The aroma is amazing.

I made Smitten Kitchen's brown butter brown sugar shorties on Sunday. I couldn't wait. As soon as I saw the ingredients, there was no holding me back. I love butter and brown sugar more than anything. My obsession with this duo is quite unhealthy. But it's fantastic.

My all time favorite candy from See's is a rich chocolate-drenched buttery brown-sugary concoction that I can't get enough of. The only problem with buying them is that I don't stop after a couple. I walk out with many other delicious chocolates that neither I, nor my hips, need. It's a real tragedy, I tell you.

And I made this brown sugar candy recipe on my birthday. Oh mama. I ate it all. By myself. Then cried on my husband's shoulder. "I have a problem!" I wailed. He patted my head and tried to console me and very comfortingly said, "yes, you do."

I can't help it. The flavor of these two amazing ingredients melding together is pure bliss.

That is all.

How many times can she say "Christmas lights" in one post?

I take a lot of pictures, always have, and I find it kind of odd that I don't have a single photo of Christmas lights from last year. I don't know. It just seems... odd. I can't wrap my brain around it. It's not like they went missing either, because, somehow, I can clearly remember just not taking any.

And, yes, I realize I'm rambling, but I can't help it. It's odd, I tell you. Odd. I love Christmas. I love Christmas lights! Why didn't I want to capture a single image of them?

This is clearly going to disturb me for a long time.

Last night, the Husband and I took a drive to find (wait for it) Christmas lights! (We haven't put ours up yet and, besides, our apartment building is pure concrete and just you try nailing them up.)

I know it's still the beginning of December, but we were disappointed by the lack of really great decorations.

The following photos are pretty terrible, but hey, I obviously have no previous experience taking pictures of Christmas lights (WHY!?) so I'm still testing my settings in this particular shitsituation. Hopefully, they'll improve by the time Christmas rolls around. Which means, lucky readers reader, that you'll get to witness my many, many attempts at photographing Christmas lights!

Before we go any further, can I just point out that there, in the bottom right corner, is the roof of a house and that tree of lights was ginormous! These same people had also strung lights on palm trees. Very tall palm trees. And, yes, they're obviously from Minnesota crazy.

I was trying some different things here, with these lights. I wasn't sure which I'd like better, the lights kind of blurred out like above or very twinkly like this one:

I think I'm leaning towards the latter. Although, there's something fun about those blurry balls of color that I keep coming back to. And, well, something almost romantic about those starry twinkles.

What do you think?

On a side note, we drove into Huntington Beach and found my dream home. I'll be moving in as soon as the current owners realize they've been wanting to move out and decide to give away their home to two very broke deserving individuals.

Boat included.

Someone "up there" was having a good laugh at my expense.

Several days ago, I witnessed the most incredible sunset on my way home. Seriously. Incredible.

During the winter, the sun is always setting as I leave work. Most of the time it's pretty. Sometimes it's breathtaking. On that particular night it was heartbreaking. Did I mention I'm a complete sucker for a pink sky? Well, this one? Was not only pink, but purple and blue and orange and an amazing rainbow of clouds awash with color.

I think I nearly collided with the car in front of me no less than eight times while I was staring at the sky instead of at the road.

Watching the road while driving actually helps. That's just a little tip from me to you.

So, there I was, staring at the sky and punching myself in the face for being an idiot not having my camera. What would I have done if I'd had it? I'm not sure. Pulled over? (On the side of the 55 during rush hour? I'm not suicidal.) Tried to shoot and drive at the same time? (See above comment about watching the road.) (On a side note, would that be considered a drive-by shooting?)

I arrived home a failure. The brilliant colors had, of course, faded to gray in the five minutes it took me to get there.

I had hope, a lot of hope, that I might witness another spectacular sky (what are the chances, right?), so I grabbed my camera on my way out the next morning.

At four-thirty that afternoon, I wandered outside. It was cloudy (we were expecting rain that night), but the sun wasn't completely shut out. I caught a glimpse of color behind the hotel and, in a hopeful rush, hurried up to the nineteenth floor.

Had the sun been able to escape those clouds and shine some light and color upon them, I would have had the best seat in the house. Clearly.

But, it was not meant to be.

Stupid clouds.

Well, a tiny sliver of ocean, but still... ocean.

And it's only Thursday.

It's been quite a week since we returned from Utah.

I'd get into it, except I'm exhausted. And the thought of rehashing it here, well... someone give me a gun.

This is my baby brother. He was named after Brad Pitt's character in Legends of the Fall. And the first person to give the correct answer wins a million dollars!! a big hug from yours truly.

Hello? Anyone?

I especially love this picture because it so perfectly showcases that thing on his head that he calls "hair" and I call a "rat's nest."

And I thought I had unruly hair. I got nuthin' on this kid.

I always wonder what's in store for this brother when he's "all growns up." He's got Asperger's syndrome and ADHD and is totally anti-social (even worse than me). He's the sweetest kid, and yet sometimes you can't help but want to scream. See, he's got this really nifty I-can-make-you-crazy-in-five-seconds-flat mechanism. And it never fails.

Since I went and made reference to it, I couldn't help but YouTube some classic scenes from Swingers and if you haven't seen this movie, please crawl out from under the rock and add it to your Netflix queue. You'll thank me.

Or maybe you won't.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTPxEwfNTJc&hl=]

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ODjE-_OB3JI&hl=]

Anyone else craving cotton candy?

Once in a while the sun, the clouds, and even the horrible smog decide to work together to make me happy.

I love stepping outside my front door to a sunset like this, with vibrant pinks streaking across the sky. I only wish all the other crap, the random buildings and car dealerships, would get the hell out of my way.

About a week ago, on my drive home, I watched the most amazing colors light up the sky. It was like no other sunset I had ever seen before. I, being the world's most unprepared wannabe-photographer, didn't have my camera. I was devastated.

I'd totally try to recreate the image on canvas, but with my complete lack of any artistic ability, it'd end up looking like I'd just taken a spin on the Gravitron after eating more than my fair share of cotton candy.

The Gravitron is the only carnival ride to ever make me ill.

You're not craving cotton candy anymore, are you?

I can sum up my Thanksgiving in eighteen million photos.

Give or take a few million.

Thanksgiving, for the Husband and me, started Wednesday afternoon with a mad scramble to get packed, feed the cats, grab a pillow for the road, get the booze in the car, get the car washed, the gas tank filled and get on the highway before traffic got bad.

We still sat in traffic for the rest of our lives. At least, that's what it felt like. In real time? Eight hours.

But at least it was pretty. I stayed somewhat nauseous for most of it.

We arrived in southern Utah sometime after ten. We got checked in and pretty much crashed. The Husband, who made the smart decision to save his marriage and spend Thanksgiving with me, was coming down with a bad cold. I, of course, picked a fight with him. But it was totally his fault.

He stayed in bed for most of the morning on Thursday while the rest of us (my mom, J, my two younger brothers, and myself) packed up and headed to my sister's house to start feasting.

I've never enjoyed the strict planning that some people strive for in a Thanksgiving meal. I'm not all about getting up at stupid o'clock in the morning to get a turkey in the oven and "we'll be eating at two pm sharp."

I think the turkey went in sometime around nine or ten. Everyone helped with the stuffing and by "helped" I mean we stood around my mother while she made it and sampled and sampled some more until we finally told her it was perfect. Well, I told her it was still too dry, but did anybody listen? Of course not. And what was the one complaint about the stuffing as we inhaled our dinner? It was dry.

The Husband eventually dragged his sorry, sniffling butt over to join us for dinner. He was feeling pretty good after a big meal and several screwdrivers.

And this? This is my brother, Travis, who just recently turned twenty-one. This is what happens after a big meal, many beers, and many glasses of your older sister's toxic powerful Sangria. Which was fabulous if I do say so myself.

We, of course, took merciless advantage of the fact that he passed out on the sofa in a room full of incredibly loud half-drunk Charade-playing fools family members.

I know. Man feet. Hairy man feet. Gross.

On Friday morning, it was Bailey's and coffee for breakfast. And many Almond Rocas.

I have no idea when a gigantic tin of Almond Roca became a tradition, but I don't ask questions. I just enjoy. And it's okay! Calories don't count on holidays. Or on days after holidays.

We went shopping in the early afternoon. My favorite clothing store is located near my sister and I try to make it a point to go whenever I visit.

We also stopped at Target where I bought the first three seasons of House. I'm sorry, I love that man show.

When we got home, our feet sore and our backs aching, us womenfolk gathered around the table for the traditional game of Let's Start a Fight.

And there was pie involved. Glorious pie.

This is the Caramel Pecan Pumpkin Pie I found in my old Better Homes cookbook. It was fantastic. And beautiful. And, yes, I piled on a mountain of homemade whip cream, because homemade whip cream is the best thing ever.

And this is my older sister, T. She's amazing. And she hosted the entire Thanksgiving event. Which means that, in addition to cooking the turkey, she simultaneously secured her place in Heaven.