Friday, November 30, 2012


My name is Stephanie. Welcome to my blog. Or welcome back. I started blogging back in 2008. Back then I was at a little piece of the internet called "chocolate and whine." Cute, huh? My BFF thinks so, too. I believe his exact words were "that's way better than Stephanie Harsh." Asshole. I moved a few times for various reasons, but mostly because I'm never happy, and here it is, 2012, and I'm still not happy.

But that has little to do with where I blog and more to do with where I live. Which is at home. With my parents. Which is horrifying at any age, but at 30? I'm crying myself to sleep and popping Xanax like something you pop frequently.

I live with my parents because I'm divorced. Yes, I'm 30 and divorced and bitter to boot. And I'm broke. Hella broke. (Do people still say "hella?") Mostly I'm broke because of credit cards the devil made me use. And also I'm broke because I'm saving every. fucking. penny. to move out. This doesn't stop me from going out too often with my best pal.

I like vodka tonics and lemon drop martinis and I like to snack when I'm drinking which means I spend too much money at the bars and I'm, well, fat. Yes, I'm a fatty. I wasn't always fat. I was fat and then I was thin for a little while and now I'm fat again. Which means weight loss blog posts are in both our futures. And let's admit it. We need another weight loss blog like we need another... blog.

I have a positive outlook on life while being incredibly negative at the same time. I use the F word too often. I drink Starbucks daily. I read terribly nasty novels. But also some very sweet young adult novels which totally cancels out the dirty nasty. I'm a Twihard. I procrastinate like a champ. And I spend most of my time working for a company that is so not in my career plans. I've been there for twelve years.

I hate black licorice, candy corn and believe the only good that comes from olives is the fun one can have when one puts them on their fingertips and pretends one is an alien. Also, I abuse parenthesis, quotation marks, and exclamation points. Let's have some fun.