Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Maybe I just need an energy drink.

Most of the time, I try to keep things around here relatively lighthearted. This is not going to be one of those times. (Fair warning and all.)

I'm in a funk, peeps. Have been for the last couple of weeks. And I have no idea what's causing it or what to do about it.

I was happy. Totally, normally, happy and content. And then someone flipped a switch. At least, that's the best way I can think to describe it.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not suddenly crying into my cheerios every morning and I recognize the fact that I have nothing, nothing, to be morose about.

It just feels as if I'm walking around with ten pound weights on each shoulder. Ten pounds ain't much, I'll grant you that. It's just enough to make me want to stop and rest. (All effing day long.) Just enough to make me too tired and too sore to want to participate in anything extracurricular.

The only activities I'm interested in are reading, watching TV, and browsing the internet.

Take pictures? Not now.

Bake? Maybe later.

Everything else? Yawn.

On the other hand... watch six straight hours of True Blood? Spend two browsing YouTube? Read for four as soon as my eyes open? Those I can do. Those I'm happy to do.

Well, happy might be a stretch. Happy might take too much energy as of late.

And... I must admit... I'm especially irritable and impatient. An awesome combination while you're trying to, oh, I don't know, LIVE IN THE REAL WORLD.

I've tried baking. I hoped that doing something normal would stimulate me enough to get out of this funk. Halfway through a batch of chocolate chip cookies, I lost interest and put the dough in the fridge.

And God forbid anyone ask me to do something that might interrupt my plans of NOTHING. As soon as I start to hear a sentence or question that hints at such a thing, I start to shut down.

Go outside? Around people? But... but why??? I don't want to! Why can't you just let me stay inside and BE HAPPY!? You hate me, don't you?

I don't actually say the words out loud because I realize I might come across as, well, a crazy person... but I confess to having thought them once or twice in the last couple weeks.

I can hear you right now feeling sorry for my husband, don't think I can't. I'd feel sorry for him, too, but... too much energy and all that.

I feel like I should be able to tell myself to snap out of it, shrug it off, STOP BEING SUCH A DOWNER...

I'd rather watch a movie and have a bowl of ice cream.


  1. I've been where you're describing. I have not found a way to get out of that funk without help (Wellbutrin is my help of choice). I understand about feeling like someone came in and flipped a switch. I understand about not having energy, about not wanting to have my nothing interrupted.The normal advice is that if you've felt this way for more than two weeks (I guess two weeks is the magic number), then you should discuss it with your dr. I never follow that advice.That being said, maybe you're just storing up energy for seeing New Moon...

  2. Its because you're so effin tired from getting up so early! It's all works fault! Why the heck they have to go and change the schedule anyways geez! haha Im only saying this cuz i feel the same way and i'm blaming it on lack of sleep.-L

  3. Eh. Sometimes I think we make too much of funks. Maybe it's your bodies way of telling you to rest for a bit. Maybe it's your lizard brain getting ready for the change of seasons. Maybe your moon is in retrograde. Who knows.I agree with Theresa that if it goes on for a really long time, then it deserves attention. But for me, I find that cutting things back to the minimum for a while and laying low usually takes care of it. Then one day I wake up and say, "What have I been DOING?" and get back to life.But you know yourself better. DO these things usually pass?

  4. I can't add anything more than your other commenters said already, except that I get in those funks sometimes and they always pass just like they arrived. I hope yours leaves soon!

  5. I am so with ya on this one babe. Right there next to you, in spirit at the very least. It's a funk and I am bad. I just feed it until it goes away. Of course I can say that since I have purchased at least 10 books to read and I fully intend on getting to all of them before letting go of this funk. I try and walk every night at least just so I can say I'm being active. I don't bother saying that I'm sociable, that takes way too much effort I'm not interested in. I can't help you pull yourself out, just let you know it's not just you. Blame it on the hormones! It works for me.

  6. Could just be a funk, but it could also be symptoms tied to how you feel about your work.Honest.For a long time I was a shit to be around and didn't really know why. I knew I didn't really like my work but work is, you know, work. WTF, right? It's why they have to pay us to do it.Then, about two years ago, I quit and started my own little company (little as in just me) and even though I occasionally wonder if I made the right decision, I am waaaay happier and waaaay better to be around.