Saturday, July 18, 2009

A fill-in of sorts.

The Husband: So, how do you feel if I go?
Me: I don't think I'm comfortable with that.
Him: Why?
Me: Because...
Him: Because...?
Me: I... don't know.

I am nothing if not seriously awful when it comes to explaining how I feel. I need time to sort through my thoughts first. I tend to shut down. Close off. I need to digest everything, mull it over, obsess about it and decide how I'm going to handle things.

So, when I immediately told him I wasn't comfortable with the idea, that was very unlike me. Normally, I'd say something much more articulate like hmmm and then go hide away in a dark corner. But don't worry. As soon as he asked why, my natural instinct to retreat kicked in. Hence the very eloquent I don't know.

The truth is, I did know. I knew immediately why I wasn't comfortable with the idea of my husband traipsing off to Las Vegas for an ENTIRE NIGHT with a group of single friends. And it had nothing to do with my fear of murderers and rapists breaking in. Or of accidentally stabbing myself with the knife I keep next to the bed when I'm home alone. (Don't laugh.)

Maybe it's a sign of personal growth or maybe I was just so tuned into why it bothered me, but this one didn't take me long. I sat down next to him on the sofa and announced, "There are three things that bother me about this trip."

Then he rattled off some stats from the all-star game and I had to kill him.

Oh, relax. I kid! That only happened in my head.

Me: Honey, please.
Him: I'm sorry. What are the three things?
Me: Well, the first and most obvious one is money. Of which we have, like, NONE.
Him: (nodding) True.
Me: The second thing is... well, I thought you didn't even want to go.
Him: I don't, but they keep hassling me about it.

(I will never understand this. If you don't want to do something, don't do it. Or if you do, don't be afraid to say it.)

Me: (after a long pause during which I looked at him with one eyebrow raised IN DOUBT) Ooooh-kay. Well. The third thing is that I'm really just not comfortable with my husband taking a trip to Las Vegas with a group of his single friends. Oh which there are men and women.

This is when I proceeded to explain myself, but I'll spare you the details since I already covered them in a previous post.

Him: (after listening to me ramble on and on incessantly for eighteen minutes) Honey, I understand. I won't go. I really don't want to spend the money, anyway. Hey, look. Joe Mauer's up.

Me: (pause) He's hot.

The end.


  1. I love the picture and the end of this post. YEAH SCORE!

  2. Stephanie, I'm so glad. I love it when we speak from our hearts and it actually works out!

  3. AnonymousJuly 19, 2009

    Wow I am so happy for you! You said exactly how you felt...which by the way I am incapable of doing... and he understood. He completely saw your side of the situation. Very sweet :)-L

  4. Anyone who takes your feelings into consideration, then basis his decisions on a great guy.

  5. great picture! And you know, it sorta looks like the one cat is talking to the other from under the pillow. "Pst, hey, I really don't like it when you take my spot on the couch." I have a hard time discussion why I feel a certain thing. When I was younger I used to hide under the blankets to have serious discussions with my parents.

  6. First, love the pic of the cats. Oh and nice job giving him a good excuse to tell his friends why he can't go. Really, the fact that he was fine with it gives me hope. Really, because before I had none.

  7. Awesome, I love a happy ending!

  8. High five to you for telling him how you feel. :)Whack upside the head to him for not telling his coworkers he didn't want to go. And then a fist bump to him for listening patiently and understanding.And a one woman wave that it all worked out happily for everyone. :)

  9. If you two keep up this kind of mature, reasonable communication, what are the rest of us supposed to do? Think of the readers!

  10. Glad to hear it all worked out for y'all. Maybe you should plan something special for the Non-Vegas Weekend, subtitled Aren't You Glad You Stayed Home...???

  11. That's cool.Now ya need to spend that weekend together like it's the last one ever.