There is a possibility that during the last few months I’ve become overly sensitive to The Husband’s behavior. (Shocking, I know.) I don’t think I watch his every move like a hawk, but it’s certainly possible. I wouldn’t put it past me. I am quite neurotic these days. And I expected to be paranoid, but I must say it’s really starting to annoy me. And The Husband? Totally. not. helping. For example…
This morning, as I stumbled my way back to bed after snoozing my alarm, I noticed him coming out of my closet. We each have our own. He keeps a couple of his things in mine; a small toolbox, some old pairs of shoes… but certainly not anything he’d need at seven a.m. on a Saturday.
Although, had he come out with some tools, I suppose I would have left well enough alone considering he has plans to work on my car today. (My poor car made the most pathetic sound two nights ago when I tried to start it. This was awful not just because I absolutely love my car, but I was leaving to get frozen yogurt. Sigh.)
But The Husband didn’t come out carrying tools. Or anything else for that matter. No, he just got right back into bed. So, what the fuck was he doing?
And I know what you’re thinking. Stephanie, what could he possibly have been doing wrong in a closet? Come on, get a grip! Relax!
But, I can’t help it. Especially when he responds to my inquiry with “no reason.” That’s it. Just two words. Two measly little words that explain zilch.
Well, people don’t wander in and out of closets for no reason! There had to be a reason. And he won’t share it with me. This can only lead me to believe that he’s hiding something from me. Again.
So, here we go. Again.
I’m paranoid and suspicious. I’m sitting here obsessing over what he could have possibly been doing in my closet. And all these horrible feelings? The insecurities and what-ifs? They’re bringing back all the feelings that I experienced after finding inappropriate text messages and pictures and realizing that he was involved, hoping to become more involved, with another woman.
Which then leads me to wonder: does this ever get easier? Or will I really go on feeling like this FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE?