Monday, April 20, 2009

Nacho mama’s bucket list.

Ten Nine things to do before I… you know.

Punch someone in the face. This could be husband-specific, but I haven't decided. (Not sure what that says about my repressed anger.)

Throw panties at Dierks Bentley. Because THAT VOICE.

French kiss Stephenie Meyer and/or Judith McNaught. Preferably both because they’ve created my two all-time favorite heroes. (See: Edward Cullen and Matthew Farrell.)

Be a pirate. Of the Caribbean, not Somalia. With swords and canons and parrots and an eye patch. And rum. And Johnny Depp.

Slap Tom Brady's ass. While he's standing on the sidelines during a game. Preferably the Super Bowl, which he'd win. Naturally.

Star as a cartoon character in a Disney movie. I would make an amazing cartoon.

Be interviewed by Larry King. Incidentally, I also want him to get me so worked up that I storm off set. Later, the video would be replayed over and over gain on CNN and YouTube and Nancy Grace would be all panties-in-a-twist about it. Apparently, I want to get a lot of important people all hot and bothered.

Break into someone's house. Because I've read this book one too many times. And also this book. And it sounds awesome. And totally doable.

Buy life-sized portrait of Edward Cullen. Oh wait.


Already did. (And it only cost me one husband. Totally worth it.)

15 comments:

  1. NICE poster. And I haven't read the books or watched the movie.Oh and that breaking and entering? Don't do it in Texas, we're allowed to shoot people breaking and entering. Well actually even if you think they are breaking in you can shoot them. And we do. Shoot them that is. Stick to Cali, they fear guns there.

    ReplyDelete
  2. hahahahahaha! Okay, is the poster hanging over your bed?! (The advertisement showing on your blog is "Twilight Is Casting Now"!)

    ReplyDelete
  3. I want you to know that after I scrolled down and saw that, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath while silently saying, "She's kidding, right? She's got to be kidding." Then I opened my eyes and realized that I don't think you are kidding.Please, please tell me that you are kidding.(It's all right. I still love you.)(I think.)(This is funny, right? Not bitchy? Because I feel I'm being borderline and I don't want to be misunderstood.)(God, I have no self-confidence these day.)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh I like Matt too, but I would rather french kiss Michael Valente (someone to watch over me).That last picture totally cracked me up.P.S. I like the new changes you have made to your blog.

    ReplyDelete
  5. i dont know that i could punch someone, but i would definitely watch while you did, just to say i saw someone get punched in the face.dierks....<3... that hair....i probably would french stephenie meyer given the opportunity. just' sayin.i'm with ya on the pirate thing - they were cool until the stupid somalians ruined it for everyone.i'm in indianapolis - COLTS fans do NOT want to slap tom brady's ass. face? maybe.nancy grace ALWAYS has her panties in a wad.are you sure you just don't want to kick a door in, like all dane cook 'B&E;' style? that's really what i just want to do.and finally - life sized portrait of edward - EFFING AWESOME. (and totally worth it, IMO)

    ReplyDelete
  6. I want to punch someone in the face, too! When my life is really stressful and I'm feeling like there isn't anything I can do about it, I have a recurring dream where I am FURIOUS with someone, as angry as I have ever been, and I finally haul back and swing at them with ALL MY MIGHT. When the punch lands on their chin, it makes no impact and makes a tiny "dink" sound. So, I want to know what it feels like to really hit someone.I should be having that dream any ol' night now...I'm running away to Barbados one of these days. They used to have pirates there - wanna come with?

    ReplyDelete
  7. Love the list...especially #2 (I don't mean THAT number 2...nevermind) Leaving now

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oh. My. God. Funniest group of comments ever. I freaking love you guys right now. (I mean, I do all the time, but especially right now.)Michelle, Texans scare me almost as much as guns do, so I don't think that's where I'll be attempting my B&E.;Gayle, when we got home with the poster, my husband asked where I was going to hang it because we have NO ROOM for it and I said "right above the bed, where else?" This is when he stopped talking to me.Alias Mother, bitchy or otherwise, I still freaking love you. I burst out in laughter after reading your comment. I seriously worried that you'd stop visiting my blog after I clicked publish. So glad this little, tiny thing didn't scare you away for good. Dutch Donut Girl, I'd probably french kiss any character from a Judith McNaught book.Marchelle, I'm not sure if this is appropriate (because hardcore football fans can be a bit, ahem, touchy and might not appreciate me comparing the two), but I totally love Peyton Manning. I mean, if someone told me there was no chance of getting my hands on Tom's behind, but I could Peytons, I totally wouldn't turn that down. And I knew you'd by on my side with the whole poster thing.Violet, I won't punch anyone because I'm afraid that my complete lack of arm strength will embarrass me. And I'll go to Barbados with you any time! Julie, you're funny! I think #2 is probably the one thing on my list that's actually possible. Well, that and punching someone. And breaking in. Those three things wouldn't be difficult... I'm just worried about the consequences.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hehehehehe! Love the picture! We like a lot of the same books and authors. I love Nora and Judith too,(and Stephanie Meyer but that is just understood)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Too funny. And I agree with you. He makes a great Edward.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Definitely re-think the punching someone in the face. Even when they deserve it, you'd be amazed how much it hurts your fist. Sooo not worth it.

    ReplyDelete
  12. swords and canons?I thought you were a Nikon girl

    ReplyDelete
  13. [...] certainly won’t be as fun as this list, but I have to get this muddled crap off my mind and out into the great WWW or I’m afraid [...]

    ReplyDelete
  14. [...] been thinking about Twilight a lot lately. Mostly because I put my big, huge Edward poster in my trunk to be taken to Goodwill. Yes, really. Except I’m kinda embarrassed to even take [...]

    ReplyDelete