Tuesday, March 1, 2011

March on the wrong foot.

This inability to chill the fuck out is starting to scare even me. I can't seem to let anything go. Like, at all. And it's not just this goshdarned blog. (Now you know the one obscenity I try to stay away from.) It's every little insignificant thing in my life that requires me to make any sort of decision. NO MATTER HOW MINOR.

It's why my blog changes appearances more often than I do. It's why, rather than make a decision, I bought FOUR DIFFERENT KINDS of Easter candy. It's why, when asked to make a display at work, I made it three effing times. 'Cause it was never quite perfect. And I could do better. And if I didn’t, it’d be a terrible reflection on me as a person!

I've always been a perfectionist. In high school, I would rewrite my notes. I used to make my bed just before I got in it. But this... this is a different beast entirely.

In other news: I've made two vows to myself. First, to stay away from that stupid fucking "design" button on my blog. And, second, to post everyday during the month of March. Obviously, I'm setting myself up for failure but WHAT ELSE IS NEW?

In other other news, I recently took a mandatory health assessment. When finished, it gave me a list of things to work on to improve my overall health. What was at the top of the list, highlighted in a lot of ugly red? Stress management.


  1. The Hat ChickMarch 02, 2011

    Isn't eating chocolate is a proven stress management technique?

  2. MichelleSGMarch 02, 2011

    I vote for lots of chocolate too. And if I may say (and probably not help you any at all) I always love the design changes you make to your blog. Do you have a therapist/counselor? I'd be curious to know his/her take on your indecisiveness. I know at some point you started meds for that uber PMS thing. My friend just got diagnosed with it and called me after 1 week on the Prozac they gave her. She was freaking out. I told her to give it 5-8 weeks. I don't think that's what she wanted to hear but really, if you're asking my opinion you're probably at a point where you know what I'm going to tell you isn't what you want to hear. And here I am, giving you advice....

  3. Being a perfectionist can be a pain in the ass, but we do make the world a lot more interesting wouldn't you say? :)You have been (and probably still going through) a lot lately....lots of decisions and not as much control over things as you may like. Sometimes we forget to give ourselves a break. For me it helps to just be still...silence the noise in my head and enjoy the quiet. Not really meditating, just being still. Sometimes it helps...sometimes not...and on those days, I get a nap out of it. :)

  4. um. It's OK to polish your chocolates before you eat them, right?