Five years ago:
"I'm twenty-five years old. I consider a Grande Skinny Caramel Latte from Starbucks to be a well-balanced breakfast. I'm a Weight Watchers lifetime member. I've been married for five years. I live in southern California. I find myself extremely creative but am still waiting to see if I have any real talent. I find it impossible to spend less than $50 at Target. I love to watch TV and consider the DVR to be one of man's greatest inventions. I am totally inconsistent. I'm a photographer... trapped inside the body of an administrative assistant. I don't like people. I love tequila. I love to watch movies. I can't live without chocolate. I'm eleven years younger than The Husband. I'm afraid of everything and I desperately want people to find me interesting."
Five years! A lot has happened in five years and I feel the need to dissect the hell out of that paragraph. Humor me.
"I'm twenty-five years old." Twenty-five? Holy hell, that sounds young. I'm thirty now (obvi) and the only thing I've learned in the last five years is that I never want to be twenty-five again. Okay, that's not the only thing I've learned, but close.
"I consider a Grande Skinny Caramel Latte from Starbucks to be a well-balanced breakfast." Now it's a Grande Toffee Nut Latte. With 2% milk. Because non-fat tastes like ass.
"I'm a Weight Watchers lifetime member." This sentence makes me want to cry. And then jump off the 19th floor. Because I was there! I had done it! I had lost the weight and achieved my goal and I was thin! WHY DID I GO AND FUCK IT ALL UP!?
"I've been married for five years." We made it to seven. And now I'm single.
"I live in southern California." Yep. Still true. I've gone absolutely nowhere.
"I find myself extremely creative but am still waiting to see if I have any real talent." I had so many fun hobbies while I was married. Baking, taking pictures, writing, being generally crafty. I had the space and the resources for it. Once I filed for divorce, my whole life changed. Now? I only dream of baking and most pictures I take are with my cell phone.
"I find it impossible to spend less than $50 at Target." Yes.
"I love to watch TV and consider the DVR to be one of man's greatest inventions." I no longer own a TV and the only thing I watch is Pitch Perfect over and over and over. Because BEST MOVIE EVER.
"I am totally inconsistent."
"I'm a photographer... trapped inside the body of an administrative assistant." I'm an administrative assistant again. But this time in a department where I'm the minority and I don't understand anyone! Fun!
"I don't like people." I really don't.
"I love tequila." Love? Love? Such a profession only comes with the immaturity of a 25-year-old. I like tequila. I despise Fireball whiskey.
"I love to watch movies." I really do. Especially when I'm having particularly bad anxiety. Bad anxiety... something I didn't have when I was 25.
"I can't live without chocolate." Some things haven't changed and never will.
"I'm eleven years younger than The Husband." There's no longer a husband.
"I'm afraid of everything and I desperately want people to find me interesting." I really am afraid of everything, but if you don't find me interesting... that's fine.
Showing posts with label About. Show all posts
Showing posts with label About. Show all posts
Friday, March 15, 2013
Friday, November 30, 2012
About
My name is Stephanie. Welcome to my blog. Or welcome back. I started blogging back in 2008. Back then I was at a little piece of the internet called "chocolate and whine." Cute, huh? My BFF thinks so, too. I believe his exact words were "that's way better than Stephanie Harsh." Asshole. I moved a few times for various reasons, but mostly because I'm never happy, and here it is, 2012, and I'm still not happy.
But that has little to do with where I blog and more to do with where I live. Which is at home. With my parents. Which is horrifying at any age, but at 30? I'm crying myself to sleep and popping Xanax like something you pop frequently.
I live with my parents because I'm divorced. Yes, I'm 30 and divorced and bitter to boot. And I'm broke. Hella broke. (Do people still say "hella?") Mostly I'm broke because of credit cards the devil made me use. And also I'm broke because I'm saving every. fucking. penny. to move out. This doesn't stop me from going out too often with my best pal.
I like vodka tonics and lemon drop martinis and I like to snack when I'm drinking which means I spend too much money at the bars and I'm, well, fat. Yes, I'm a fatty. I wasn't always fat. I was fat and then I was thin for a little while and now I'm fat again. Which means weight loss blog posts are in both our futures. And let's admit it. We need another weight loss blog like we need another... blog.
I have a positive outlook on life while being incredibly negative at the same time. I use the F word too often. I drink Starbucks daily. I read terribly nasty novels. But also some very sweet young adult novels which totally cancels out the dirty nasty. I'm a Twihard. I procrastinate like a champ. And I spend most of my time working for a company that is so not in my career plans. I've been there for twelve years.
I hate black licorice, candy corn and believe the only good that comes from olives is the fun one can have when one puts them on their fingertips and pretends one is an alien. Also, I abuse parenthesis, quotation marks, and exclamation points. Let's have some fun.
But that has little to do with where I blog and more to do with where I live. Which is at home. With my parents. Which is horrifying at any age, but at 30? I'm crying myself to sleep and popping Xanax like something you pop frequently.
I live with my parents because I'm divorced. Yes, I'm 30 and divorced and bitter to boot. And I'm broke. Hella broke. (Do people still say "hella?") Mostly I'm broke because of credit cards the devil made me use. And also I'm broke because I'm saving every. fucking. penny. to move out. This doesn't stop me from going out too often with my best pal.
I like vodka tonics and lemon drop martinis and I like to snack when I'm drinking which means I spend too much money at the bars and I'm, well, fat. Yes, I'm a fatty. I wasn't always fat. I was fat and then I was thin for a little while and now I'm fat again. Which means weight loss blog posts are in both our futures. And let's admit it. We need another weight loss blog like we need another... blog.
I have a positive outlook on life while being incredibly negative at the same time. I use the F word too often. I drink Starbucks daily. I read terribly nasty novels. But also some very sweet young adult novels which totally cancels out the dirty nasty. I'm a Twihard. I procrastinate like a champ. And I spend most of my time working for a company that is so not in my career plans. I've been there for twelve years.
I hate black licorice, candy corn and believe the only good that comes from olives is the fun one can have when one puts them on their fingertips and pretends one is an alien. Also, I abuse parenthesis, quotation marks, and exclamation points. Let's have some fun.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
The "about me" post
(This post originally written on StephanieHarsh.com back when life was a lot more confusing.)
I'm getting divorced. I think. Maybe not. It's doubtful. And highly likely. Maybe. We'll see. (And that about sums that up.) I've been known to go on and on about the same boring divorce-related drivel for paragraph upon paragraph in fairly frequent "why me" blog posts. Feel free to skip those.
I use curse words. Not always, but sometimes. Often enough that I feel the need to put this little fact about me in my "about" page. I understand it offends some and puts others off. I get it. To each his own. I have found that sometimes the F word is necessary.
I work in a hotel. I rarely talk about my work, but I just celebrated my 10th anniversary. (And, by "celebrated" I mean business as usual.) In 10 years, I've quit twice and have been laid off once. My 12th anniversary will fall on 12/12/12. I might have to stay with the company for that reason alone.
I live with my mother. My bedroom has no door. It fucking sucks. (See what I mean about the F word?)
I love animals. At one point, my husband and I had three cats. Two have been lain to rest over the years, one just recently back in August. (Luke. My heart still aches for him.) The husband has custody of Mercedes.
Sometimes I take pictures. Sometimes I bake things. Sometimes I take up projects that never last. I rarely finish anything I start. (This is not something I'm proud of.)
I am obsessed with Twilight. I love Edward Cullen. I love romance novels, young adult novels, the library. Books in general. Any book that makes me cry is bound to get five stars. I am Team Edward, Team Ky, Team Adrian, Team Loki, and Team Peeta. And I have no shame in admitting it.
Re: the name
Stephanie Harsh is a play on my real name and something a co-worker came up with. It made me laugh. And the tag line? Well, I can't begin to count the number of times I've heard someone say, "When we first met, I was so afraid of you!" I'm not mean. I swear. I'm just a little... standoff-ish... until we get better acquainted. I'm also a teensy bit socially awkward. Okay, more than "a bit." Whatev.
I'm getting divorced. I think. Maybe not. It's doubtful. And highly likely. Maybe. We'll see. (And that about sums that up.) I've been known to go on and on about the same boring divorce-related drivel for paragraph upon paragraph in fairly frequent "why me" blog posts. Feel free to skip those.
I use curse words. Not always, but sometimes. Often enough that I feel the need to put this little fact about me in my "about" page. I understand it offends some and puts others off. I get it. To each his own. I have found that sometimes the F word is necessary.
I work in a hotel. I rarely talk about my work, but I just celebrated my 10th anniversary. (And, by "celebrated" I mean business as usual.) In 10 years, I've quit twice and have been laid off once. My 12th anniversary will fall on 12/12/12. I might have to stay with the company for that reason alone.
I live with my mother. My bedroom has no door. It fucking sucks. (See what I mean about the F word?)
I love animals. At one point, my husband and I had three cats. Two have been lain to rest over the years, one just recently back in August. (Luke. My heart still aches for him.) The husband has custody of Mercedes.
Sometimes I take pictures. Sometimes I bake things. Sometimes I take up projects that never last. I rarely finish anything I start. (This is not something I'm proud of.)
I am obsessed with Twilight. I love Edward Cullen. I love romance novels, young adult novels, the library. Books in general. Any book that makes me cry is bound to get five stars. I am Team Edward, Team Ky, Team Adrian, Team Loki, and Team Peeta. And I have no shame in admitting it.
Re: the name
Stephanie Harsh is a play on my real name and something a co-worker came up with. It made me laugh. And the tag line? Well, I can't begin to count the number of times I've heard someone say, "When we first met, I was so afraid of you!" I'm not mean. I swear. I'm just a little... standoff-ish... until we get better acquainted. I'm also a teensy bit socially awkward. Okay, more than "a bit." Whatev.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Everything you never knew you wanted to know. About me.
So, that whole "about me" thing has really been weighing on my mind. Okay, not really, but I felt it was time to write something to explain myself a little better. Except, when I started to write my bio, everything that came out stunk to high Heaven. (Who can tell me where that saying came from?) So, I finally gave up trying and asked J to interview me. The following is the result of that.
By the way. J (or Justice) was named after a gold fish, just in case you were wondering. And I know what you're thinking. Who in their right mind names a goldfish "Justice?"
Justice: What is your name? Just kidding!
Stephanie: Geez.
Justice: Sorry, I had to. What do you like to do in your free time?
Stephanie: Take pictures, read, watch TV... Um, I can't think of anything else
Justice: Tell me about yourself. Just kidding. Just kidding.
Stephanie: I'm going to kill you.
Justice: Do you consider yourself successful?
Stephanie: Hm. That's deep.
Justice: I know. By the way, just say "skip" if you don't want to answer a question.
Stephanie: If "successful" means I'm happy and have a good, healthy marriage, and I'm able to spend time with people I love, doing things I love, then yes, I consider myself successful.
Justice: Good answer.
Stephanie: Dork
Justice: No, really.
Stephanie: Waiting...
Justice: What are your pet peeves?
Stephanie: People who leave their turn signals on. Stupid people in general.
Justice: Ok, ok. Have you ever had a life changing moment?
Stephanie: Yes, but it's kinda stupid. My life changing moment was the day T told me to read the Pioneer Woman's website and I was kicked in the face with this passion for photography.
Justice: That's not stupid.
Stephanie: Thanks.
Justice: What is the weirdest thing about you?
Stephanie: Um, I check out the shoes of the person in the stall next to me whenever I'm in a public restroom.
Justice: HA. If you could do anything what would it be?
Stephanie: Quit my job and travel around the country in a pimped-out RV. What do you think is the weirdest thing about me?
Justice: Hmm... Maybe your pet peeves. They make you really mad. REALLY MAD.
Stephanie: Do you think I have anger issues?
Justice: Only when you get irritated. Otherwise no. What is your most annoying habit?
Stephanie: This is hard. I just looked over at Jon and asked him what he thought my most annoying habit was. He paused and started thinking about it and I said, "Be careful, this could cause a fight." He said my sniffles. I sniffle a lot 'cause I think I have a chronic runny nose. What do YOU think my most annoying habit is?
Justice: Umm... Let me think.
Stephanie: This should be good.
Justice: I don't know. Honestly. Ohhhh. No. This could start a fight.
Stephanie: Tell me!
Justice: Ok. CLEAN FREAK!!!! *hides in corner*
Stephanie: You're just mad 'cause I don't let you drip water all over the floor when you take a shower.
Justice: What do you think is the single best decision you've made in your life so far? By the way, I'm getting some of these from websites. Questioning is harder than it seems.
Stephanie: Jon said it was marrying him. What a turd. Actually, that was the first thing that popped into my head, too. I haven't had to make too many major, life-altering decisions in my life yet... except marriage.
Justice: Interesting. I don't know if I should ask this one, so say "skip" if you want to. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
Ohhh, I got a more pleasant one. What is your most treasured memory?
Stephanie: That's tough. I don't think I can pinpoint one specific memory. I treasure all my holiday memories. Like Thanksgiving at T's and Christmas at Mom's and the two of us driving up to Utah to surprise T for her birthday... things like that.
Justice: I'm getting the vibe that family is very important to you. Is family very important to you? Do you treasure family moments? Are you sentimental? (I came up with that one!) (Woo!)
Stephanie: Yes, yes, and yes... very much.
Justice: Ok. Now, Stephanie, earlier in the interview you told me that your youngest sister was your favorite. Why is this?
Stephanie: Um, I don't think I said that
Justice: Oh. Um, must be a technical error. Or something. Who are you voting for in the election?
Stephanie: Obama, of course.
Justice: Who is the most influential person in your life?
Stephanie: Ooh, that's a good one. Actually, I don't think anyone has a very strong influence on me. Jon would tell you I don't listen to anyone and I make my own opinions. I'm very stubborn and opinionated.
Justice: So, I take it God is the most influential person in your life? Or your sister?
Stephanie: Well, which sister?
Justice: Me.
Stephanie: God, definitely.
Justice: Do you consider yourself a morning person? Or a night person? Or an afternoon person?
Stephanie: I think really early morning is the most peaceful time of day, before everyone else is awake and starting to bother me. It's when I'm most productive. BUT, I am not a morning person. I hate hearing my alarm go off. I snooze it eight times every day. I am a night owl at heart. It would be incredibly easy for me to fall back into the habit of staying up and waking up late.
Justice: What is the most important thing to you in any relationship?
Stephanie: Trust. And candy. This is why you and I are so close.
Justice: That's funny. The first thing that popped into my mind was honesty. What holiday do you enjoy the most and how do you celebrate it?
Stephanie: Christmas. We wake up early, open presents, visit family, laugh a lot, and eat until we fall over in a food coma.
Justice: Yeah. Christmas is good.
Stephanie: Yeah.
Justice: My favorite, too. Anyways. Aww crap. I had a really good question, but I f- Never mind. I remember. Do you like giving advice or receiving advice? Or, do you like listening or talking?
Stephanie: I can do both, but I have to be in the mood. Sometimes I don't want to talk or listen. Sometimes I do. I don't really like giving advice because people don't typically take it.
Justice: What is something that you hate to think about?
Stephanie: Money.. and how we're ever going to be able to afford a house in freaking southern California.
Justice: What is your favorite month or favorite type of weather. (Damn, I wish it was raining.)
Stephanie: Me, too. I love December because of Christmas. I love The Holidays. I love it when it's cold and rainy.
Justice: What is one thing you would not be able to live without?
Stephanie: Oh gosh. Probably my laptop. Remember when my battery died a couple weeks ago? I almost had a panic attack.
Justice: What is one thing that you hate doing, yet you seem to have to do it all the time?
Stephanie: Work. So, Justice, what's your favorite food? BESIDES CEREAL.
Justice: Orange chicken. Duh. What's yours?
Stephanie: Can I say chocolate? Or do I have to pick real food?
Justice: Real food.
Stephanie: Shit, that's hard. I love ALL food. A big juicy steak or lasagna or meatloaf or macaroni and cheese... I'm hungry.
Justice: What kind of situations do you try to avoid?
Stephanie: Any that involve large crowds of people I don't know.
Justice: Do you consider yourself shy or outgoing? Or anti-social?
Stephanie: Anti-social.
Justice: Is that why you often ignore phone calls, even from your family?
Stephanie: Now you sound like mom. Yes, I ignore my phone because I don't like talking to people, but I ignore phone calls from family only when I'm watching TV and I don't want to get up and find my phone.
Justice: If you have ever wanted to be traumatized, what would you want to be traumatized by?
Stephanie: What the hell kind of question is that?
Justice: Ok, what is your favorite color?
Stephanie: Pink, what's yours?
Justice: Mine's gray or light yellow or white. What do you think about gas prices?
Stephanie: I'm just glad I drive a little Toyota... and I hope the prices continue to go down.
Justice: Did you know that Toyota's are made in Japan and by buying products from other countries we are supporting their military powers against us? Are you against America?
Stephanie: Shut up, turd.
Justice: Do you like watching the news?
Stephanie: No, it's sad and it's always the same.
Justice: Would you ever try to grow a tree in your backyard, if you had a backyard, and do you want a backyard?
Stephanie: Um, yes, I want a backyard... and yes, I'd probably try to grow a tree. I've always wanted a tree house.
Justice: What was your favorite subject in school?
Stephanie: Political science. Yours?
Justice: Literature.
Stephanie: What kind of grades are you getting right now?
Justice: Ummm
Stephanie: Hmm?
Justice: I think a B+ in HONORS History. It's hard. B+ in Honors Lit. A+ in normal science. And A in piano.
Stephanie: Geez, how many honors classes are you in?
Justice: Two.
Stephanie: Gross.
Justice: I can't think of any more questions.
Stephanie: How does it feel knowing you got all the smarts in the family?
Justice: I feel that you all should treat me more special than everyone else. I deserve special treatment, bitches. That's how I feel.
Stephanie: Oh, but you are "special". Do you ride the short yellow bus?
Justice: I don't ride buses. I'm anti bus.
Stephanie: Oh, yeah... mom and dad make you walk. Haha.
Justice: Actually, they drive me, for your information.
Stephanie: 'Cause they don't think you can walk on your own? 'Cause you're "special?"
Justice: How does it feel to know that you're a bitch?
Stephanie: You are.
Justice: I can't think of any more questions to ask.
Stephanie: What else should I tell people about me?
Justice: That I'm your sister, not your daughter. And to warn them not to get on your bad side, because you are a bitch.
Stephanie: I thought you were trying not to swear?
Justice: Oh. Well, I decided that online it doesn't count.
Stephanie: That's nice.
Justice: It doesn't feel bad when I do it typing.
Stephanie: What's your favorite movie?
Justice: The Notebook. Or Twilight. Even though I haven't seen it.
Stephanie: You can't say that if you haven't seen it! Retard.
Justice: What's yours?
Stephanie: Under the Tuscan Sun, Love Actually, Sex and the City, Chocolat, Something's Gotta Give, the Holiday, Walk the Line, and every Disney movie. Is Twilight your favorite book?
Justice: Mmmmm yeah. Or For the Roses. But right now Twilight. Probably because I just read it.
Stephanie: Did you finish Public Secrets?
Justice: No. I have like 50 pages left, but for some reason I feel like the book could end right now. She's basically with the guy. And that was one of the main problems in the book. And then to find out who murdered her brother... I don't want to really find out.
Stephanie: I'm going to be seriously disappointed in you if you don't finish it.
Justice: Like I care. So. How'd you like your interview?
Stephanie: It was very serious.
Justice: Interesting. Let's go get some ice cream.
Stephanie: Okay.
The end.
By the way. J (or Justice) was named after a gold fish, just in case you were wondering. And I know what you're thinking. Who in their right mind names a goldfish "Justice?"
Justice: What is your name? Just kidding!
Stephanie: Geez.
Justice: Sorry, I had to. What do you like to do in your free time?
Stephanie: Take pictures, read, watch TV... Um, I can't think of anything else
Justice: Tell me about yourself. Just kidding. Just kidding.
Stephanie: I'm going to kill you.
Justice: Do you consider yourself successful?
Stephanie: Hm. That's deep.
Justice: I know. By the way, just say "skip" if you don't want to answer a question.
Stephanie: If "successful" means I'm happy and have a good, healthy marriage, and I'm able to spend time with people I love, doing things I love, then yes, I consider myself successful.
Justice: Good answer.
Stephanie: Dork
Justice: No, really.
Stephanie: Waiting...
Justice: What are your pet peeves?
Stephanie: People who leave their turn signals on. Stupid people in general.
Justice: Ok, ok. Have you ever had a life changing moment?
Stephanie: Yes, but it's kinda stupid. My life changing moment was the day T told me to read the Pioneer Woman's website and I was kicked in the face with this passion for photography.
Justice: That's not stupid.
Stephanie: Thanks.
Justice: What is the weirdest thing about you?
Stephanie: Um, I check out the shoes of the person in the stall next to me whenever I'm in a public restroom.
Justice: HA. If you could do anything what would it be?
Stephanie: Quit my job and travel around the country in a pimped-out RV. What do you think is the weirdest thing about me?
Justice: Hmm... Maybe your pet peeves. They make you really mad. REALLY MAD.
Stephanie: Do you think I have anger issues?
Justice: Only when you get irritated. Otherwise no. What is your most annoying habit?
Stephanie: This is hard. I just looked over at Jon and asked him what he thought my most annoying habit was. He paused and started thinking about it and I said, "Be careful, this could cause a fight." He said my sniffles. I sniffle a lot 'cause I think I have a chronic runny nose. What do YOU think my most annoying habit is?
Justice: Umm... Let me think.
Stephanie: This should be good.
Justice: I don't know. Honestly. Ohhhh. No. This could start a fight.
Stephanie: Tell me!
Justice: Ok. CLEAN FREAK!!!! *hides in corner*
Stephanie: You're just mad 'cause I don't let you drip water all over the floor when you take a shower.
Justice: What do you think is the single best decision you've made in your life so far? By the way, I'm getting some of these from websites. Questioning is harder than it seems.
Stephanie: Jon said it was marrying him. What a turd. Actually, that was the first thing that popped into my head, too. I haven't had to make too many major, life-altering decisions in my life yet... except marriage.
Justice: Interesting. I don't know if I should ask this one, so say "skip" if you want to. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
Ohhh, I got a more pleasant one. What is your most treasured memory?
Stephanie: That's tough. I don't think I can pinpoint one specific memory. I treasure all my holiday memories. Like Thanksgiving at T's and Christmas at Mom's and the two of us driving up to Utah to surprise T for her birthday... things like that.
Justice: I'm getting the vibe that family is very important to you. Is family very important to you? Do you treasure family moments? Are you sentimental? (I came up with that one!) (Woo!)
Stephanie: Yes, yes, and yes... very much.
Justice: Ok. Now, Stephanie, earlier in the interview you told me that your youngest sister was your favorite. Why is this?
Stephanie: Um, I don't think I said that
Justice: Oh. Um, must be a technical error. Or something. Who are you voting for in the election?
Stephanie: Obama, of course.
Justice: Who is the most influential person in your life?
Stephanie: Ooh, that's a good one. Actually, I don't think anyone has a very strong influence on me. Jon would tell you I don't listen to anyone and I make my own opinions. I'm very stubborn and opinionated.
Justice: So, I take it God is the most influential person in your life? Or your sister?
Stephanie: Well, which sister?
Justice: Me.
Stephanie: God, definitely.
Justice: Do you consider yourself a morning person? Or a night person? Or an afternoon person?
Stephanie: I think really early morning is the most peaceful time of day, before everyone else is awake and starting to bother me. It's when I'm most productive. BUT, I am not a morning person. I hate hearing my alarm go off. I snooze it eight times every day. I am a night owl at heart. It would be incredibly easy for me to fall back into the habit of staying up and waking up late.
Justice: What is the most important thing to you in any relationship?
Stephanie: Trust. And candy. This is why you and I are so close.
Justice: That's funny. The first thing that popped into my mind was honesty. What holiday do you enjoy the most and how do you celebrate it?
Stephanie: Christmas. We wake up early, open presents, visit family, laugh a lot, and eat until we fall over in a food coma.
Justice: Yeah. Christmas is good.
Stephanie: Yeah.
Justice: My favorite, too. Anyways. Aww crap. I had a really good question, but I f- Never mind. I remember. Do you like giving advice or receiving advice? Or, do you like listening or talking?
Stephanie: I can do both, but I have to be in the mood. Sometimes I don't want to talk or listen. Sometimes I do. I don't really like giving advice because people don't typically take it.
Justice: What is something that you hate to think about?
Stephanie: Money.. and how we're ever going to be able to afford a house in freaking southern California.
Justice: What is your favorite month or favorite type of weather. (Damn, I wish it was raining.)
Stephanie: Me, too. I love December because of Christmas. I love The Holidays. I love it when it's cold and rainy.
Justice: What is one thing you would not be able to live without?
Stephanie: Oh gosh. Probably my laptop. Remember when my battery died a couple weeks ago? I almost had a panic attack.
Justice: What is one thing that you hate doing, yet you seem to have to do it all the time?
Stephanie: Work. So, Justice, what's your favorite food? BESIDES CEREAL.
Justice: Orange chicken. Duh. What's yours?
Stephanie: Can I say chocolate? Or do I have to pick real food?
Justice: Real food.
Stephanie: Shit, that's hard. I love ALL food. A big juicy steak or lasagna or meatloaf or macaroni and cheese... I'm hungry.
Justice: What kind of situations do you try to avoid?
Stephanie: Any that involve large crowds of people I don't know.
Justice: Do you consider yourself shy or outgoing? Or anti-social?
Stephanie: Anti-social.
Justice: Is that why you often ignore phone calls, even from your family?
Stephanie: Now you sound like mom. Yes, I ignore my phone because I don't like talking to people, but I ignore phone calls from family only when I'm watching TV and I don't want to get up and find my phone.
Justice: If you have ever wanted to be traumatized, what would you want to be traumatized by?
Stephanie: What the hell kind of question is that?
Justice: Ok, what is your favorite color?
Stephanie: Pink, what's yours?
Justice: Mine's gray or light yellow or white. What do you think about gas prices?
Stephanie: I'm just glad I drive a little Toyota... and I hope the prices continue to go down.
Justice: Did you know that Toyota's are made in Japan and by buying products from other countries we are supporting their military powers against us? Are you against America?
Stephanie: Shut up, turd.
Justice: Do you like watching the news?
Stephanie: No, it's sad and it's always the same.
Justice: Would you ever try to grow a tree in your backyard, if you had a backyard, and do you want a backyard?
Stephanie: Um, yes, I want a backyard... and yes, I'd probably try to grow a tree. I've always wanted a tree house.
Justice: What was your favorite subject in school?
Stephanie: Political science. Yours?
Justice: Literature.
Stephanie: What kind of grades are you getting right now?
Justice: Ummm
Stephanie: Hmm?
Justice: I think a B+ in HONORS History. It's hard. B+ in Honors Lit. A+ in normal science. And A in piano.
Stephanie: Geez, how many honors classes are you in?
Justice: Two.
Stephanie: Gross.
Justice: I can't think of any more questions.
Stephanie: How does it feel knowing you got all the smarts in the family?
Justice: I feel that you all should treat me more special than everyone else. I deserve special treatment, bitches. That's how I feel.
Stephanie: Oh, but you are "special". Do you ride the short yellow bus?
Justice: I don't ride buses. I'm anti bus.
Stephanie: Oh, yeah... mom and dad make you walk. Haha.
Justice: Actually, they drive me, for your information.
Stephanie: 'Cause they don't think you can walk on your own? 'Cause you're "special?"
Justice: How does it feel to know that you're a bitch?
Stephanie: You are.
Justice: I can't think of any more questions to ask.
Stephanie: What else should I tell people about me?
Justice: That I'm your sister, not your daughter. And to warn them not to get on your bad side, because you are a bitch.
Stephanie: I thought you were trying not to swear?
Justice: Oh. Well, I decided that online it doesn't count.
Stephanie: That's nice.
Justice: It doesn't feel bad when I do it typing.
Stephanie: What's your favorite movie?
Justice: The Notebook. Or Twilight. Even though I haven't seen it.
Stephanie: You can't say that if you haven't seen it! Retard.
Justice: What's yours?
Stephanie: Under the Tuscan Sun, Love Actually, Sex and the City, Chocolat, Something's Gotta Give, the Holiday, Walk the Line, and every Disney movie. Is Twilight your favorite book?
Justice: Mmmmm yeah. Or For the Roses. But right now Twilight. Probably because I just read it.
Stephanie: Did you finish Public Secrets?
Justice: No. I have like 50 pages left, but for some reason I feel like the book could end right now. She's basically with the guy. And that was one of the main problems in the book. And then to find out who murdered her brother... I don't want to really find out.
Stephanie: I'm going to be seriously disappointed in you if you don't finish it.
Justice: Like I care. So. How'd you like your interview?
Stephanie: It was very serious.
Justice: Interesting. Let's go get some ice cream.
Stephanie: Okay.
The end.
Friday, August 1, 2008
This is me.
I'm twenty-five years old. I consider a Grande Skinny Caramel Latte from Starbucks to be a well-balanced breakfast. I'm a Weight Watchers lifetime member. I've been married for five years. I live in southern California. I find myself extremely creative but am still waiting to see if I have any real talent. I find it impossible to spend less than $50 at Target. I love to watch TV and consider the DVR to be one of man's greatest inventions. I am totally inconsistent. I'm a photographer... trapped inside the body of an administrative assistant. I don't like people. I love tequila. I love to watch movies. I can't live without chocolate. I'm eleven years younger than The Husband. I'm afraid of everything and I desperately want people to find me interesting.
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