I had an epiphany while at dinner with my best girlfriend last night. (Actually, it was two nights ago now. My slacking has reached an all time high.) Are you ready for this?
When you’re married and you drink too much, IT’S OKAY. You can get sloppy with your spouse. Your spouse will take care of you. Your spouse is (usually) someone you can trust. So, drink up!
IT IS MUCH, MUCH DIFFERENT WHEN YOU’RE SINGLE.
I’ve been going out a lot. There’s usually alcohol involved. Not always, but... usually. (Sometimes there are board games involved. I can't tell if this means we're progressing or not.) (FYI, I suck at Clue.)
I enjoy having cocktails. The other Stephanie, the one usually chained and padlocked to my neurosis, gets to come out and have some fun. And she is one cool chick. She's funny and carefree, totally self assured and confident. She knows exactly what she wants to say and how to say it and doesn't let any pesky insecurities get in her way. It's a beautiful thing. But.
In the last year? Fun Stephanie has done some things un-fun Stephanie is not proud of. (That didn't come out quite right.) I've crossed a line with one friend, led another on... I'll let you contemplate the many sins I may have committed because I'm not going to share the nitty gritty details. But it was all done with the very lame excuse of "I was drunk." Like that somehow makes it okay. Like I shouldn't be held accountable.
I'm finally figuring it out. I do stupid things when I'm drunk. I thought as long as no one was bleeding or getting arrested, NO BIG DEAL. It's all fun and games, right? Wrong.
I don't want to hurt anyone. I don't want to wake up and think OH. MY. GOD. WHAT DID I DO?! And, worse, not be able to remember. And I certainly don't want to have any regrets that make my face burn to think of them.
So, in an effort to aid my No More Mistakes in 2012 campaign, we're gonna lighten up on the boozin'. (I'm pretty sure that apostrophe is in the wrong place.) And by "we" I mean me. Although, I may have to convince a friend or two of the merits of less drinking and more control over one's behavior.