Yes!!
I'm heartbroken and devastated.
I'm scared and have no idea where to go from here.
The future seems dark and desolate and desperate without you in it.
I don't want to live without you.
I'm in love with you.
A decision that makes me want to curl up on the floor and weep can't possibly be the right one.
I miss you.
I miss hugging you.
I miss laughing with you.
I miss sharing this bed with you.
Can't you tell that this is so terribly wrong?!
Why wasn't I good enough? Why couldn't I make you happy?
What was so wrong with me?
Please, just put your arms around me and tell me everything will be okay.
Because, right now, it feels like my heart is being ripped from my chest and there's no chance I'll survive.
Please, don't let this happen.
I'm begging you.
Of course, I only said these things in my head. Saying them out loud wouldn't have made a damn bit of difference.
I can't say anything that would make you feel better. I wish I could take you out for a beer or something.
ReplyDeletewow. sending a hug your way. nothing more, nothing less, right now. just a big fuzzy blanket warm safe and cozy know that somebody else knows that pain and you are NOT alone though you feel it, hugs. you already prove your braveness by writing such an open piece. lots of good things in store for you.
ReplyDeleteStay strong girl! Believe your life will only get better...
ReplyDeleteOh how I wish I could make you feel better. And I'm with Teeter on this, it wasn't you, it was him.
ReplyDeleteNo one can cast blame on "One" individual. This sounds like it was a two way street and could have been steered differently a long time ago (if that is what you both wanted)? It ain't over until it's "REALLY" over......think about.
ReplyDeleteI'm so very sorry. Sending hugs.
ReplyDeleteI wish I had something insightful to say to you. But I have nothing. Just that I am here. My thoughts are with you and I truly know that you will get through this. I know I don't actually know you but I just feel that you are a strong person. It fuckin kills right now but eventually the pain will slowly fade away. sending hugs, thoughts of fudgy brownies, and a butt load of tequila. -L
ReplyDeletesweetheart. xoxthis ((((((((hug)))))))) is a virtual hug.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry that you have to go through this. I'm sending hugs, too.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry hunny, and I don't know that anything I could say would help...but know that I am praying for you. I really wish I could do something for you. I am sending you virtual chocolate mentally. ;o)
ReplyDeleteDon'tcha just wish you could just hate him?Hugs.
ReplyDeleteIt wasn't you....you should never blame yourself. It sounds as if you have a lot to say, but the words won't come out. Sometimes it helps if you write a letter to the person that has hurt you, telling them everything you want to say but somehow can't when you are with them. You can mail it or not...sometimes just writing these thoughts and emotions down helps.
ReplyDeleteI don't like "Anonymous."I'm so sorry and sending you good ju-ju over here.
ReplyDeleteI follow your blog for the most part. I am so sorry that you are going through this. I know the feeling where it feels like your stomach aches and you can't quite catch your breath... I know it sounds cliche but you will be ok. You will endure. You are capable. The hardest part about any relationship is breaking yourself out of the automatic reflexes, such as automatically hitting their number programmed in your phone. Just remember that you have a lot of people who are thinking about you and you will survive this. I know it may be too early to say this but it always seemed like you were better than what he was giving you...
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry! ((hugs)) It will get better!
ReplyDeleteHaven't heard from you in a while. hope your hangin in there. The WWW is thinkin about you.Take care,-L
ReplyDelete