Effing SUCCESS. Well, almost.

Now these... these are muffins.

Last night, The Husband came home to find me standing in the kitchen, my hands braced on the counter, my head bowed as if in prayer. He kissed me hello, but could sense something was wrong. I looked him square in the eye, took a deep breath, and said, “Honey, here goes round three.”

He frowned briefly, not understanding. Then realization dawned and he began to back away nervously. His left eye started to twitch. “Muffins? AGAIN!?” he exclaimed as sweat beaded on his brow.

I nodded helplessly. “You might not want to be here for this.”

And then I fucking went to battle. These bastards muffins never stood a chance.



Let me back track a little so we’re all on the same page.

Muffin attempt #1: Doughnut Muffins. Made from a cookbook that I know nothing about except that it was purchased at Costco and then left behind by a guest in the hotel. Result: although they were tasty, the texture was all wrong and they were much too pointy.

Muffin attempt #2: AB’s muffin recipe from a Good Eats episode. Result: complete baking fail. They were greasy, sunken in. Awful. Mostly likely baker’s error. (Let's be honest.)

Because my faith in him is as strong as my love for chocolate, I used another Alton recipe for the third batch. This one out of his book. Which was very similar to the other with some minor alterations.

As soon as my timer went off and I opened the oven door, I could see a huge improvement. They weren't sunken in, nor were they pointy. They were perfect. I grabbed the pan and dashed into the den where The Husband sat worriedly awaiting the news.

“Honey! Look! Muffins!” And then I promptly did a jig.

My only complaint is that they were a bit dry due to overcooking. Totally my fault. The directions said the muffin cups should be full. I used a disher that clearly wasn't large enough and actually had some batter left over. Rather than try to distribute it evenly, I just popped ‘em in the oven and set the timer for 15 minutes. A couple minutes less and they probably would have been perfect.



Alton’s Old School Muffins

Ingredients
2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
pinch of salt
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1 egg + 1 egg yolk
1 cup plain yogurt
Bit and pieces (nuts, fruit, chips, etc.)

Directions
Sift together the dry ingredients (flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt). Whisk together the wet ingredients (sugar, oil, eggs, yogurt). Add the wet to the dry and mix until just combined. Do not over mix. Do not mix until smooth. Mix for a long ten count and another three for the bits and pieces. Spoon batter into prepared muffin tin (I use Baker’s Joy) and bake for 18-20 minutes at 375 degrees.



Even the texture is as it should be. (Insert grinning-like-a-fool here.)

(Printer-friendly version.)