Monday, August 3, 2009
Why I chose to stay employed.
These muffins. They're the perfect example of why I need to keep my job. At least for the time being.
A few days ago I made muffins out of a cookbook. They turned out great. Then, feeling all ambitious, I decided to try my boyfriend's recipe. I wanted to learn how to make A MUFFIN. The right way. I read the book, I watched the video. I went back into my kitchen feeling confident and prepared. I was going to make THE BEST MUFFIN IN THE HISTORY OF MUFFINS.
I followed every direction to a T. I used the right ingredients, weighed everything for complete accuracy, and popped 'em in the oven. And, damn it, I couldn't wait to see and taste them. I was going to show these puppies off. I was going to take them to The Husband and say, "See! I can do this! I can bake! I can tell that damn hotel to kiss my ass and I can start my own business! Are you with me?! LET'S DO IT!" Very Ty Pennington.
And when I pulled them out of the oven, the muffins weren't the only things completely deflated. I could have cried. What went wrong?
And that was the kicker. That one question. What went wrong? I honestly couldn't say. Because I DIDN'T KNOW. I don't have the knowledge to say, oh, it's because of this... or that... or whatever. Now let's try again!
I don't know how to bake. Sure, I can pull out a recipe and make it work. Most of the time I'm successful, but at this point it feels like pure luck.
These muffins are why I want to go back to school. Not for a degree. I'm not that ambitious. (At least, I don't think.) But for a few classes that will not only teach me the fundamentals of how to do these things I love, but provide the confidence to actually turn them into a career.
In the meantime, there's a lot to be said for a steady paycheck while you're figuring out how to make your dreams come true.