Him: Blah blah blah.
Me: I'm not kidding, Husband. We agreed.
Him: Suck it up. I already got you something.
Me: What?! WHEN?!
Him: A few weeks ago. I got it just because, but then figured it might as well be a birthday present.
Me: If you give me a present for no reason, I'm going to think you're incredibly sweet. If you give it to me on my birthday, I'm going to be PISSED.
(And no, it's not my birthday. Yet. You'll know when you hear me wailing from a cold, dark corner. Bring chocolate.)