Afraid.

I'm afraid to make mistakes.

I'm afraid I'll be alone forever.

I'm afraid to be with you for the wrong reasons.

There were times when I was married that I thought I wish he would leave me. I'm afraid I'll have that thought about you one day.

I'm afraid that one day I'll feel stuck or trapped.

I'm afraid to lose you.

I'm afraid that sex has gone and confused everything and neither one of us know which was is up.

I'm afraid we'll never speak the same language even though we both think we're doing exactly that.

I'm afraid to date other people.

I'm afraid if I don't date other people, I'll always feel as if I missed out on something.

I'm afraid if I don't date other people, I'll always wonder "what if?"

I'm afraid I've read too many romance novels and ruined myself.

I'm afraid to trust myself.

I'm afraid I'll always question my feelings.

I'm afraid I'll never be able to make up my mind.

About anything.

I'm afraid I'll feel depressed and anxious forever.

I'm afraid things will never be the way they were.

I'm afraid I'll never feel carefree again.

I'm afraid I'm losing my best friend.

I'm afraid I've already lost you.

All because I'm too afraid.

It's time to start writing again.

Something.
Anything.
Every.
Single.
Day.

And, no, this isn't one of those posts where I go on and on about why I don't and why I should and how I'm going to blah blah boring blah.

In fact, this isn't even about blogging.

This is about writing.

About wanting to write.

And that's all.

And it starts with throwing away my ridiculously high standards for myself.

And just.
Fucking.
Writing.

This is going to seriously cut into my reading.