1. I had this thought that if I failed in my attempt to post everyday for a month, then that would suggest I have some sort of life. So, I talked myself out of caring too much that I wasn't going to post today. Except then I realized that I wasn't going to post anything because I slept in until eleven, went to work, the end. And that's not much of a life. So here I am, forcing myself to write something, anything, since I have no good reason not to. This doesn't mean I have anything exciting to share.
2. I have the next two days off. Now this may come across like I'm being all down on myself, but please don't misunderstand. That's not it at all. I'm just stating facts here. Having the weekend off these days... well, it's not that exciting. In fact, it's a bit depressing. Everywhere is much too crowded and the few friends I do have are working. It leaves me with too much time to think about someone that I miss.
3. I miss my husband. There. I said it. I miss him. Is that so horrible? I think about him, um... a lot. This whole thing has not gotten easier, and instead seems to get worse each day. I asked a friend, "Isn't it supposed to be getting better?" and he said, "Well, sure, eventually." I asked, "What does that mean? How long?" To which he replied, "I don't know. A few years?" Just put me out of my misery now.
4. The weather has been incredibly gorgeous the last few days. Like, call-in-sick-and-head-to-the-beach kinda weather. Not that I would ever fake an illness to get out of work. Ha. I don't particularly care for sand, but I might have to make an exception and go soak up some sun this weekend. Although, get in a bathing suit? Not sure I'm quite ready for that just yet. Maybe next year.
5. I bought the dog a new water dish. She sniffed at it, took a few sips. Then the water made a bubbling noise and scared the shit out of her. For the rest of the day, she stood outside the kitchen crying. Seriously pathetic. She's slowly getting used to it, which is good because I was afraid I'd scarred her for life.
There is something lovely about going to the beach and not having a suit on- just some comfy clothes and shoes. I hate the way sand gets into EVERYWHeRE but I do love the feeling of the sun and the sounds of the beach. If you go-take your camera. It's not warm enough here for anything beach related. :(
ReplyDeleteLook at you rocking the blog every day! I'm quite proud....and if no words come, post a photograph. :)
ReplyDeleteI don't know if you ever stop missing the people you have loved. You will probably always miss the husband, I still miss people I haven't seen in years...but the feeling is different as time passes. Sometimes it is more intense than others but it is part of who you are now ~ part of what helps you grow and keep going until one day you will think of him and it won't hurt to remember your time together.
I'd give you a hug if I could.
ReplyDeleteOne nail drives out another.
ReplyDeleteJust saying.
Are you... are you suggesting I get back on the horse, so to speak?
ReplyDeleteMy good friend recently got divorced and wondered how long the bad part would last. Her friend told her two years. She later told me two years is exactly right. I tell you this NOT to depress you, but to give you some perspective...it could be a while, and missing him is very normal.
ReplyDelete