So, here’s the story. A couple of weeks ago, I wanted to make something rich and chocolatey. I found a recipe for these gorgeous looking Tri-layer Chocolate Oatmeal bars. They looked amazing. ("Looked” being the key word.)
They were a total disaster. They were seriously awful. I’m not usually a picky eater when it comes to chocolate and baked goods (Hello, hips? ‘Nuff said.), but after one piece, I never touched them again. And I cried. And the bars sat on my kitchen counter. I couldn’t bring myself to throw them away, but nor could I send them off to work with The Husband. That’d just be cruel. And, well, I have a reputation to think of.
So, there I was, feeling down. I knew what I needed. A sure thing. Chocolate chip cookies. I know chocolate chip cookies. Chocolate chip cookies and I? BFF’s.
Of course, I had to go and complicate matters. Ever since I saw the chocolate chip cookie episode of Good Eats (which I posted here) (you’re welcome), I’ve wanted to try all three different variations. I started with The Chewy. Why? Because of the three, I had everything on hand that I needed for this one. So there.
My oldest memory of chocolate chip cookies goes back to… hm… I think I was nine. (I’d ask my mom to correct me, but her memory? Nonexistent.) We were living in San Juan Capistrano and my mom had promised to make cookies with me.
Something happened (who the hell knows now) and she changed her mind… or was too tired… or something. I asked if I could just make them myself. “No,” she said, “you’re too young, you’ll burn yourself.”
“Then can I just make the dough?” I asked. She sighed and, in defeat, agreed. So, I made chocolate chip cookie dough. And we ate it. It was just the four of us at the time. My mom, my little brother, my older sister and myself. And then we all died of salmonella poisoning. The end.
No, not really. While I certainly wouldn’t recommend eating raw cookie dough, I will say it’s one of the best things ever. And don’t sit there and try to tell me you never sample the dough. I won’t believe you.
But, back to these cookies. They were ugly. All wrinkled like raisins and dark brown. The devastation I felt upon pulling these out of the oven to find them looking totally defunct was painful. How could I go wrong with chocolate chip cookies?! I wanted to fall to my knees and curse the baking Gods. Why were they punishing me?!
Then I ate one.
And my taste buds sang a chorus of hallelujahs. These were quite possibly the best tasting chocolate chip cookies I’ve ever had. No freaking joke, peeps. The major player in this here recipe was the brown sugar and that set the stage to make these rich, chewy, unbelievable, God-is-smiling-down-upon-me cookies. Which is how they shall now be known.
It’s quite possible I effed up somewhere along the way, but I don’t think I did. At least, I hope I didn’t, ‘cause if I can’t recreate these little round discs of deliciousness, I will have to give up baking forever.
(I know what you’re thinking. They don’t look so ugly in this photo. Peeps, I couldn’t bring myself to share the pictures that showed just how ugly they were. You’ll just have to take my word on this one.)
1 cup butter, melted over low heat
¼ cup sugar
1 ¼ cup brown sugar
1 egg + 1 egg yolk
2 tablespoons milk
1 ½ teaspoons vanilla
2 ¼ cups bread flour
1 teaspoon kosher salt
1 teaspoon baking soda
2 cups chocolate chips
1. Sift together flour, salt, and baking soda.
2. Mix together the butter and sugars.
3. Add eggs, then milk, then vanilla, mixing after each addition.
4. Slowly add dry ingredients.
5. Stir in chips and taste dough. I insist. Wait, I don’t insist. (I see a lawsuit in my future.)
6. Chill for a couple of hours.
7. Bake for, oh, 8 – 10 minutes. (I’d say “until golden brown” but they get pretty brown all over. Just don’t burn ‘em, okay?)
9. Die happy.
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