tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28854422.post1267511562668873639..comments2023-06-04T01:42:33.756-07:00Comments on chocolate and whine: Goodbye forever and I need your help.Stephanie Harshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15502947272568502626noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28854422.post-33476223879882750902009-02-20T16:46:43.000-08:002009-02-20T16:46:43.000-08:00I would say to my husband:"I love you more th...I would say to my husband:"I love you more than I have ever loved anyone I have ever known. If you feel uncomfortable about my relationship with that person, I will never see him/her again."Your husband is the most important person in your life. Yes, in an ideal world, he should "get over it."The world is not always ideal, but your husband is (hopefully) going to be there for you for always.amhealyhttp://www.adhdattorney.orgnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28854422.post-11176497808252127522009-02-20T09:19:39.000-08:002009-02-20T09:19:39.000-08:00hmmm... i am actually CURRENTLY in this situation...hmmm... i am actually CURRENTLY in this situation. i definitely struggle with jealousy but i find the most helpful thing IS to meet and get to know the person... and also to have lots of reassurance from my sweetie (even if it seems excessive to him). finally - if it were a make or break thing for me... he would end the relationship or say something to the person if they were being overly flirtatious, etc. - it's not worth risking your partners feelings.Meghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14800563470286221932noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28854422.post-85400553151433564252009-02-19T12:39:52.000-08:002009-02-19T12:39:52.000-08:00Have the friend and the friend's family over f...Have the friend and the friend's family over for dinner. It might help in that context.Teeterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11280845930219520673noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28854422.post-10398459322582020522009-02-19T03:44:49.000-08:002009-02-19T03:44:49.000-08:00tell your husband I'm sorry if he's uncomf...tell your husband I'm sorry if he's uncomfortable with you stalking me, but that it wasn't my idea.coghttp://www.drivingtheflies.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28854422.post-22447512071240878522009-02-18T16:00:40.000-08:002009-02-18T16:00:40.000-08:00I've been in your husband's situation. It&...I've been in your husband's situation. It's not fun. You don't mean to have these feelings, and feel like a lunatic but you can't help it. The best thing is to respect his feelings. In my opinion :)Juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11137819611978764705noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28854422.post-26363964492637028162009-02-17T18:38:44.000-08:002009-02-17T18:38:44.000-08:00I think putting yourself in the other person's...I think putting yourself in the other person's shoes is a great exercise. Dr. Sexy and I talk about what is and is not acceptable behavior all the time, just to make sure we are on the same page. We aren't freaky jealous, check the cell phone and email stuff but if we are watching a TV show and someone crosses what I think is a line (or he thinks is a line) we go, "Whoa, that is totally not cool. That person shouldn't {yada, yada} and that is one way we keep on the same page. I have been screwed around on in my two previous marriages as has he. Yes, we are both on third time's charm. I think it helps that we regularly reinforce what we would and wouldn't be comfortable with. After being screwed around on we are both pretty careful, and pretty comfortable checking in. I think inviting them over for cards and cocktails might let you see how they are dealing with the situation and my give you your answer.I live in Northern Utah, the Ogden area. If you want to escape the five little monkeys email me, bkidman at gmail dot com and maybe we can do lunch.SurprisingWomanhttp://www.surprisingwoman.com/blognoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28854422.post-28876184019286129042009-02-17T09:06:09.000-08:002009-02-17T09:06:09.000-08:00Yes to all that's above. Introductions, trans...Yes to all that's above. Introductions, transparency, and, if all else fails, step back with the friendship. Respect for your partner comes first, as long as they are being reasonable. (And by reasonable, I mean that they aren't trying to lock you in a house and cut off all contact to the outside world.)This actually happened to me, but I was the friend who was cut out. I understood, but it did make me sad. Because it was just a friendship and I did really like hanging out with him. But his wife never got over the discomfort, so I just had to let it go.Alias Motherhttp://aliasmother.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28854422.post-27615933295157548082009-02-16T02:05:29.000-08:002009-02-16T02:05:29.000-08:00If your husband feels this way, how does the frien...If your husband feels this way, how does the friend's wife feel? If you were in Hubby's shoes, how would you feel?The Hat Chickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07698171137809654840noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28854422.post-18680663469181827402009-02-15T16:09:04.000-08:002009-02-15T16:09:04.000-08:00I would do whatever I could to reassure my spouse,...I would do whatever I could to reassure my spouse, including introducing the new friend. If his/her misgivings didn't go away, I would end the new friendship. I would not risk bringing any doubt into my marriage.(I am single now but was married for 11 years. The marriage did not end because of infidelity.)Violethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12609573058587275879noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28854422.post-91342417483167784782009-02-15T14:11:50.000-08:002009-02-15T14:11:50.000-08:00I agree it would be good to introduce the two, per...I agree it would be good to introduce the two, perhaps have group/family things together. Also, keeping the friendship as transparent as possible will help. Reinforce how much y'all trust each other, and hopefully his discomfort will eventually fade.TheresaGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10854261160601157270noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28854422.post-65051510429913482382009-02-15T14:04:13.000-08:002009-02-15T14:04:13.000-08:00Huh, very interesting. Maybe even insightful only...Huh, very interesting. Maybe even insightful only I don't know in what way. Indicative of deeper issues he has maybe? I really don't know how I'd react if my sig other said something like that. Well that's not true. He's totally a non jealous person so if he did react like that it would mean I was doing something wrong like not paying enough attention to him and too much to other person.I'd introduce them and if that doesn't work maybe put some more distance between yourself and other guy.MichelleSGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04452831993197394668noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28854422.post-67591861798635532002009-02-15T10:36:40.000-08:002009-02-15T10:36:40.000-08:00A long time ago I was jealous of how chummy a woma...A long time ago I was jealous of how chummy a woman we knew was towards my husband. He wasn't overly friendly with her, but it didn't matter. I was still jealous. We knew her and her husband, it still didn't matter. But...probably the spouse and the friend meeting would be a good idea, but not a guarantee to stop the jealousy.Have a great time in Utah!Gaylehttp://planetmfiles.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28854422.post-47368032339038141012009-02-15T10:11:19.000-08:002009-02-15T10:11:19.000-08:00I agree....have them meet each other. Invite So-an...I agree....have them meet each other. Invite So-and-so to dinner. And have fun on your visit! You can think of me while you're up at the crack of dawn due to early-bird offspring. Commiseration. :-)Graysonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05897034101658415496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28854422.post-50112187128034903592009-02-15T06:55:06.000-08:002009-02-15T06:55:06.000-08:00Maybe ask if said spouse would like to meet said f...Maybe ask if said spouse would like to meet said friend? Have a great trip :)3continentfamilyhttp://3continentfamily.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.com