tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28854422.post5320796958671955026..comments2023-06-04T01:42:33.756-07:00Comments on chocolate and whine: The cold, hard facts.Stephanie Harshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15502947272568502626noreply@blogger.comBlogger24125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28854422.post-40404156433475954612010-06-16T16:32:40.000-07:002010-06-16T16:32:40.000-07:00I know. I feel your pain.I know. I feel your pain.Stephanienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28854422.post-54131117252975556392010-06-15T22:01:26.000-07:002010-06-15T22:01:26.000-07:00Mint.com - check it out.I'd add more, but ever...Mint.com - check it out.I'd add more, but everyone else beat me to it. Not that I am any different from you. Retail therapy... sighTheresa Ghttp://theresag-lifeinthebigcity.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28854422.post-78940286168410143342010-06-15T19:04:48.000-07:002010-06-15T19:04:48.000-07:00Okay, I'm definitely going to try the cash onl...Okay, I'm definitely going to try the <strong>cash only</strong> method. This freaks me out a bit... which probably means that it's the right thing to do. Sigh.Stephanienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28854422.post-55606711833212095422010-06-15T18:56:45.000-07:002010-06-15T18:56:45.000-07:00I'm sorry. I love you and all... but I am so n...I'm sorry. I love you and all... but I am so <em>not</em> shelling out $500 bucks to live with my MOTHER.Stephanienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28854422.post-42945798074374054592010-06-15T18:50:33.000-07:002010-06-15T18:50:33.000-07:00I love all the comments up above. I am just like ...I love all the comments up above. I am just like Stephanie, but I don't think I am to blame for her evil ways. I have lately taken to giving my husband the debit cards I carry when I am going somewhere in order to avoid the potential of spending too much money. I"m going to print all the comments out and leave them on my desk for a while, so that I can remind myself of how I"m turning over a new leaf.Oh, and Steph? I'm charging you $500 a month rent so that you don't have to worry about spending your extra money on miscellaneous that you can't account for. :))amhealyhttp://www.adhdattorney.orgnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28854422.post-43382018322224714032010-06-15T18:47:20.000-07:002010-06-15T18:47:20.000-07:00Jerk! lol...Jerk! lol...Momhttp://www.adhdattorney.orgnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28854422.post-50460651370999483582010-06-15T16:15:36.000-07:002010-06-15T16:15:36.000-07:00OK, I'm beginning to suspect that Alias Mother...OK, I'm beginning to suspect that Alias Mother and I are the same person. I second the suggestion that you stop carrying your debit card. I am a nickel-and-dimer, too, and it's all because of that damn little piece of plastic. It's so easy and painless to hand over the plastic. I have been thinking about giving myself an allowance and leaving the debit card at home. When the allowance is gone, there's no more money for frappes, Chipotle, grape Crush, or magazines. I haven't actually done it yet because I've been out of town on business for the last two weeks. But the first step is admitting you have a problem, right?Violethttp://violetinthemiddle.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28854422.post-9236919379283042412010-06-15T13:19:26.000-07:002010-06-15T13:19:26.000-07:00The cash method is seriously what you should do. ...The cash method is seriously what you should do. If I wasn't responsible for buying EVERYTHING in the household (sooo not my choice) I'd totally go that way. That's basically what my hubby does but obviously I'm more the one with the problem. We don't have any credit cards. At all. Used to, don't anymore. It's so freaking refreshing you need to stick with that. If you want something really expensive badly enough do something like a personal layaway. Put partial payments for what you want (in cash) tucked somewhere like a jewelry box or something. When you get enough to buy it then do so. DON"T DIP INTO THAT STASH. We've done it for several things before and it works well. That's how I'm funding my new amphibian habit. You don't want to know how much it cost just to build a vivarium much less the frogs...seriously.MichelleSGhttp://michellesg.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28854422.post-37371723408098395322010-06-15T00:16:22.000-07:002010-06-15T00:16:22.000-07:00You're right, you're right. There's no...You're right, you're right. There's nothing else I can say. I should be doing all of the above. It's everything I've already TOLD myself I should do, everything I've PLANNED to do... and never did. 'Cause I was too busy buying stuff. Could I hire you to be my financial advisor? I can't pay much (or anything), but I NEED YOU.Stephanienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28854422.post-83868535511105863992010-06-15T00:12:47.000-07:002010-06-15T00:12:47.000-07:00Okay, see, I find it only too easy to use my debit...Okay, see, I find it only too easy to use my debit card. When I succumb to Starbucks or candy or whatever it may be that I don't need... the debit card comes out. We're like BFFs. We never go anywhere without each other. And she knows all of my deepest, darkest secrets.Stephanienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28854422.post-88413916391854569672010-06-15T00:08:27.000-07:002010-06-15T00:08:27.000-07:00LOL, no, it helps a lot! I really do need to get a...LOL, no, it helps a lot! I really do need to get a better grasp on planning ahead. What little I've done just in the last few days has made me feel like a freaking superhero.Stephanienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28854422.post-68944303925502589872010-06-15T00:05:49.000-07:002010-06-15T00:05:49.000-07:00You're right. I need to fight the "I need...You're right. I need to fight the "I need this and I need it NOW" feeling. I have often found myself standing in lines long enough that by the time I get to the register, common sense has kicked in and I'll put away whatever nonsense I was about to buy. Forcing myself to wait each time I want to buy something might (will) make a huge difference.Stephanienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28854422.post-54880987395347960062010-06-15T00:02:31.001-07:002010-06-15T00:02:31.001-07:00I tried the two accounts thing and the bank shot m...I tried the two accounts thing and the bank shot me down! They said that because of "suspicious" activity on my account, I would have to wait 90 days before opening another. I said, "what suspicious activity?" They said, "We suspected fraud back in April. Didn't you receive a phone call?" NO I DID NOT. Stupid bank.Stephanienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28854422.post-6717926254202830062010-06-15T00:02:31.000-07:002010-06-15T00:02:31.000-07:00You're not trying to talk me into anything, ar...You're not trying to talk me into anything, are you?Stephanienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28854422.post-84249676120634570192010-06-14T17:52:11.000-07:002010-06-14T17:52:11.000-07:00Oh my god, you are my husband. Okay, look. You a...Oh my god, you are my husband. Okay, look. You are a candidate for the cash system if there ever was one. Schedule payments for your car, credit card, whatever, that will come right out of your bank account. Then: stop carrying your debit card. You clearly can't be trusted with it until you break the spendy habit. After each paycheck, take out IN CASH exactly what you will need for groceries and gas and books, whatever. Give yourself a little candy fund, too. But once you run out of that cash, you are done (DONE) until your next paycheck. It's like budget bootcamp.Also, get direct deposit into your savings account and vow upon whatever you hold holy that you will not touch that unless you are in danger of losing your life. Now excuse me, I need to go pet my precious, precious budget and tell it that it looks pretty.Alias Motherhttp://aliasmother.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28854422.post-82169072450652022222010-06-14T17:20:36.000-07:002010-06-14T17:20:36.000-07:00You are not alone. I blame Mom. ;)You are not alone. I blame Mom. ;)Christinehttp://teeterscrazylife.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28854422.post-80492306453766102352010-06-14T15:27:19.000-07:002010-06-14T15:27:19.000-07:00yeah, see? I knew everyone else had the ideas I&#...yeah, see? I knew everyone else had the ideas I'd either not thought of or forgotten about. I like to shop in clothing stores that hold merch until closing of the next day or longer. I'll try it on, think really hard, then still just put it on hold. If it's meant to be, I'll wake up thinking about it again *and* have time to go back and buy. This is difficult. This requires some mind over body exertion. This would be helped with the accountability-to-someone thingy.I'd really think a good friend who you can trust to slap you around as opposed to mom is the best idea anyway. For just the suspicions you confirmed. And that's ok, you should be allowed opacity when you need it, and she already has a lot of transparency about your daily rituals!Mint.com *is* a pretty supertastic tool, as Lan mentions, though it would really behoove you to keep the debit feature if you go this route. So it's an alternative to the debit-deactivation. Maybe try both ways to see which works best?And multiple bank accounts with dedicated purposes is something I've done in the past, too. I just have the coin jar now, but it's the same idea as a savings account: only making impulsively accessible a portion of your funds.Rachelhttp://rachel.salvay.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28854422.post-57518780289402330152010-06-14T13:42:38.000-07:002010-06-14T13:42:38.000-07:00at least you know your spending habits.every.singl...at least you know your spending habits.every.single.month. i make a list of all my bills that have to be paid. i don't eff around with that list. then i calculate what i have leftover to either spend on randoms or to put into savings. it's hard.since i became single a few weeks ago i don't have that safety net of a boyfriend with a very good job and who was very willing to pay my bills for me should i need him to (tho i never used that net, it was good to have...) i've been very very very mindful of what i spend. i never ever have cash on me and i personally find it a pain in the ass to use my atm card. i got rid of all my credit cards (fully paid 5 years ago) and only keep a few store cards to keep my credit up.also, try mint.comLanhttp://angryasiancreations.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28854422.post-48465777626872231632010-06-14T13:33:57.000-07:002010-06-14T13:33:57.000-07:00You are not the only one. I am the exact same way...You are not the only one. I am the exact same way only I have to do the whole family finances since the husband can't emotionally handle doing them. Seriously, he gets so upset he basically has an emotional breakdown. Yes, I married a woman. The only thing I found that helps is that keep the change savings account. As soon as I get on line to pay bills I do that, figure out how much we need to live on for the next 2 weeks, then I transfer the rest into that savings account. I wish I could tell you that it totally works but really all it does is create a safety net for when we get to 5 days until payday and we have no gas money. The inherent problem is that we don't make enough money since the hubby can't seem to find a real job (don't get me started). So in essence we need to stop spending money on things like the occasional book store run or lunch out. Which just sucks. I mean really, do we need to give up all the little pleasures in life? Sorry, that probably didn't help much but at least know that you aren't alone!MichelleSGhttp://michellesg.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28854422.post-59540038540783220442010-06-14T09:38:13.000-07:002010-06-14T09:38:13.000-07:00Getting rid of the credit card was a great step to...Getting rid of the credit card was a great step to take! One thing I do is to (most of the time) not buy something the first time I look at it. A few days later I usually wonder why the heck I wanted, liked, thought I needed that whatever.Gaylehttp://planetmfiles.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28854422.post-42482210792038239452010-06-14T07:10:58.000-07:002010-06-14T07:10:58.000-07:00not a clue.. I've been doin' the same for ...not a clue.. I've been doin' the same for a few months now. QVC is my frenemy :) But they have some very nice lotions :)miahttp://miawc.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28854422.post-20386565685667404782010-06-14T05:05:50.000-07:002010-06-14T05:05:50.000-07:00Good for you! Admitting you have a problem is the ...Good for you! Admitting you have a problem is the first step lol- isn't that the way? I had to do the same thing last year. It's hard, but once you get into how much money you *aren't* going to blow, it's quite liberating. One thing I did in the beginning was to not take my debit card anywhere if I was just out and about. I decided how much spending money I had for the week, divided it up over the days and once the cash was gone for that day, that was it. Really made me think.The other thing we did was to open 2 separate accounts for the house. One where the bills come out- and only the bills- the other for groceries. Again, seeing in black and white exactly what we had for the month worked like a charm. Good luck!kerryannehttp://www.3continentfamily.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28854422.post-39360906518652302812010-06-13T23:50:17.000-07:002010-06-13T23:50:17.000-07:00One: Um, yeah, I'm a total idiot and can't...One: Um, yeah, I'm a total idiot and can't figure out how to correct the time stamp on my posts. No, I know where the setting is and I THOUGHT I had it right, but, no, I didn't. I give up. Two: Yes, I've told a friend <em>and</em> my mother. Although, considering I'm living in her house rent-free, I didn't get into too much detail about my poor spending habits. (Sorry, mom!)Three: This will require some thought. On one hand, the idea very much appeals to me and would keep my spending to an all time low. It'd be amazing! But... I rely on my debit card for everything! Gas, groceries, etc. I'm afraid it'd make me crazy if I had to stop at the bank all the time. Four: I cut up the credit card! Just after I bought my ticket to San Antonio. (It's all about the timing.)Stephanienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28854422.post-32807093607851927942010-06-13T23:31:20.000-07:002010-06-13T23:31:20.000-07:00question one: if it's only the 13th of June, h...question one: if it's only the 13th of June, how am I reading your posting from the 14th? Did I time travel? Am I capable of time travel?! DOOOOODDDDDD....question two: would you be willing to clue someone in 100% on your finances, like a parent, very very good friend, etc, so that you have someone to be accountable to besides yourself? let that person help you along the way, and guilt trip you when you need it? think of this as a kind of addiction that you need to ween yourself from. It's a lifestyle change, not _just_ a diet. (interesting video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A3oIiH7BLmg)question three: have you deactivated the debit feature of your debit/atm card? yes, you can totally do that. It might take some extra time on the phone with the bank, but it'll keep the impulsive candy purchases down.question four: i agree: why do you have the credit card? cancel it, then pay it off. operate on cash. No cash, no purchase. Oh, and my savings tactic is a keep-the-change thing, too, but I LITERALLY keep the change. only spend bills. everything else goes in the growler that serves as my doorstop. when it's sufficiently heavy, guess what?! I have an amazon gift code to retrieve from the coinstar at the grocery store :)...and I *know* I don't even have the best ideas out of your readers.Rachelnoreply@blogger.com